Special Meander: Dear Substack, it's time to talk about 'us'

A semi-serious relationship audit to mark my half year Substackiversary

Vicki Lesley

Jun 17, 2024

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Hello! Thanks for joining me for this special edition of my weekly meandering updates.

As you’ll already know if you’ve been here a while, usually I look back over my working week as a documentary filmmaker expanding into new adventures in filmmaking /small business, whilst navigating parenting & perimenopause (more here on my story so far if you're new to this parish). But as this week marked 6 whole months since I published my very first post on Substack, I thought I'd take a moment to look back on my journey so far.

And since I do love a dating metaphor - so much so, I made a whole film based on one - I've decided to do this in the form of a relationship audit (with sincere apologies to any real relationship counsellors out there!) If geeking out about the nuts & bolts of the platform and its possibilities isn't your bag, feel free to skip this one – or why not give it a read and see if it inspires you to start your own newsletter..?

All my posts are free for everyone, but if you like what I'm doing and would like to support me in my endeavours, you could consider upgrading to a paid subscription – it's less than the cost of a cup of coffee each month and will be hugely appreciated. Or just share this with someone else you think might enjoy it. Thanks so much.

Hey Substack, it's me.

Do you remember that first, sweet moment when I took a deep breath, held your hand and hit 'post' on my very first piece of writing with you, all a-flutter with nerves – or was it excitement - about what might lie ahead for us? That was half a year ago now. I know, I can hardly believe it either!

3 person holding wine glasses — Photo by Enis Yavuz on Unsplash

So, we made it this far. I think that definitely deserves a celebration – clink, clink!

But it also seems like a good time for a little reflection – on how it's all been going between us, the good and the not-so-good, the stand-out memories and what improvements we might try and make as we commit to taking this relationship to the next stage, through the next 6 months, to our first anniversary and beyond.

Yes, I'm saying it. I want to go steady. And I'm ready to put it all on the table.

This is how I feel about you Substack.

Buckle in! Shit's about to get real.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

if the whole ‘relationship audit’ thang feels too fanciful for you, you can always just scroll straight on down to the numbers. I won’t be that offended honestly 😭😆

What I've learned about you

You are a genuine super-connector!

You introduce me to amazing people and them to me. It's such a thrill when people like and comment on what I'm writing – even though I'm a mere minnow in a pond teeming with countless numbers of spectacular fish.

I've never been on Instagram and barely use Facebook, so my social media experience before this has revolved mostly around Twitter (RIP). Compared to the high speed rapids of 140 characters blasting into the ether, experiencing such positive, encouraging interaction with a slower and more considered, authentic expression of myself – well it just feels really nice.

Then there's the opportunity you provide for me to interact with people I’ve known and admired from a distance but would never have considered might be accessible to me before joining Substack – the delightful

Annabel Port

off the radio, the writer & illustrator of my daughter's favourite bedtime book

Catherine Rayner

(it’s this one in case you’re wondering), ace film producer & all round sage

Ted Hope

Margaret Atwood

for heaven's sake!

And beyond the well known names, you open the door to reading great writing from so many, many different voices, it's just an absolute dream.

I am a reader. Always have been, always will be. And long form writing is what I like best. For several years, the read-later app Pocket notified me that I was in their top 1% of readers (hashtag humblebrag 😄). A lot of that reading time has now been transferred to Substack. And I’m enjoying it all enormously.

So I definitely need to say a BIG thank you for what you've brought to my reading life.

What I've learned about me

In the positive column, I've learned that I can write consistently every week. Right now, I'm finding it easiest to approach this as an updated version of old style blogging. I'm not trying to be 'a writer' – that would feel far too grandiose. I'm just recording what's going on for me week by week, in as natural and honest way as I can.

In my documentary work, I've always been much more interested in/focused on shining the spotlight on what other people have to say and trying my best to convey that. So highlighting my own thoughts so publicly has felt new - but in a positive way. And the comments I’ve received have encouraged me that other people are finding some value or enjoyment in my reflections too. So hooray to that.

In the less rosy column, I've learned – or had it reconfirmed – that I struggle with the scroll! I’ve never loved social media and so it’s perhaps no surprise that Substack Notes doesn't feel like the easiest place for me either.

There's just SO much there. Plus I find broadcasting my random brief thoughts or observations to the world a little weird and awkward. And I often feel shy commenting on writing by people I don't know in real life. Even though I know this is positively encouraged!

So this whole part of the Substack experience still leaves me feeling like a gangly teenager with two left feet at the school dance.

woman in black long sleeve shirt covering her face — Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

Milestones

Yes, it’s been 6 months since I took the plunge and posted my writing for the first time. But let's be honest, Substack, I was loitering in your orbit for a while before that, checking you out and trying to pluck up the courage to say something.

And some of those early moments before we were actually 'a thing' are special too. So I wanted to mark them, alongside various other important moments through these past months as we've been getting to know each other.

There's been experimentation, connection and a lot of learning. I was hesitant at first, not really sure of how to show up with you. But each of these steps forward brought us that bit closer, making me feel more confident - and more myself - in my relationship with you. And I'm sure there's much more still over the horizon for us 💞

19^th Oct 2023 – signed up for my shiny new Substack account
25^th Oct 2023 – subscribed to my first Substack publication -
The Ladybird Purse • Opening up about money
(the first one I signed up to knowingly at least - I was actually already subscribing to several others, I just hadn’t realised they were on Substack!)
11^th Dec 2023 – published my first post
1^st Jan 2024 – downloaded the Substack app
7^th Feb 2024 – listened to my first podcast on Substack -
Company of Two
25^th Feb 2024 – posted my first Weekly Meander (and I’ve posted one every single week since then)
4^th March 2024 – signed up to
Sparkle on Substack
8^th March 2024– took part in the virtual Daisy Chain of posts for International Women’s Day . If signing up for
Sparkle on Substack
was buying the love potion, this was the day I downed the whole bottle. I was besotted after this. Here’s what I wrote if you missed it the first time:

My Women: a salute across the decades

Vicki Lesley

March 8, 2024

Read full story

What can we improve

One word darling – boundaries.

To paraphrase Walt Whitman, you are large, you contain multitudes. It's what I love about you – pick almost anything you could imagine wanting to read about and you'll likely find it here. But it's also what can sometimes make me want to close the door, go into the room next door and just...take a minute.

The overwhelm is real! I read everything in the app now and that's helped with managing the inputs. But I definitely need to work on finding a better balance in how long and exactly when I hang out with you so that I can get the best out of our relationship - particularly interacting with Notes and commenting more on posts, in a way that leaves me feeling nourished rather than deluged.

Thank you for reading Meandering over the pebbles. This post is public so feel free to share it.

Comic: Love Is... a relationship like ours — "Love is… is a trademark of Minikim Holland, B.V. © Casali Media

What now?!

Ok, ok, I admit it - the metaphor might just be getting a bit out of hand at this point. I'll stop it now I promise 😄1 But... I've read enough of these posts to know that some transparency around numbers is useful. So I’m going for it.

To be honest, I do feel a wee bit embarrassed to share mine as they’re very modest.

But then again, I've really not been putting in the efforts I know are needed to grow organically in the Substack ecosystem. Plus I’ve not yet brought over the existing mailing list I built up elsewhere while making my film, which is top of my list to do now I’ve really bedded into the space.

But in the meantime, in the interests of full transparency and as a snapshot of where I'm at right now, here's an overview of my current numbers. I'm nicking the specific categories, with a couple of small additions, from the delectable Kate Darracott whose own 6 figure journey on Substack (after just 3 months – she doesn't mess around) is definitely worth reading if you appreciate this sort of nakedness.2

All subscribers - 83
Paid subscribers – 03
Followers - 215
Email open rate – 51%
Posts published - 22
Top number of views for one post – 162 (My Women: A Salute Across the Decades)
Most likes on a post - 9 (tie between My Women: A Salute Across the Decades & Comparison (or, am I still a filmmaker?)
Most comments on a post – 15 (The Productivity Paradox)

So there we have it - my first 6 months as a writer on Substack. It’s been a journey!

Here’s to the next 6 months - I have lots of exciting plans to branch out beyond my Weekly Meander posts and I can’t wait to unleash those soon.

And if there’s stuff you want to hear more about it, or topics you think I should cover - please do let me know. This writing malarkey is fun - but it’s even more fun if I know it’s hitting the mark for whoever’s reading it. And that’s YOU 🤩