Weekly Meander #5: Birdsong & brain food
On being productively unproductive
Each week I'm documenting what I've been up to in my working life. This is mainly for my own benefit – I seem to get to the end of most weeks feeling I've barely achieved anything so it'll be nice to start to build up a record of what I have done in any given 7 days. But hopefully some of it’ll be fun & interesting for everyone else too. I'll also be highlighting some great Substack posts I’ve read in the past week. Thoughts, comments etc always happily received – you can hit reply if you're getting this in your inbox or leave a comment at the end if you're reading online or in the Substack app (recommended).
And in case you're new here and wondering who on earth I am, do check out my hero post. TLDR: I'm a documentary filmmaker currently exploring/expanding into new professional avenues whilst also navigating parenting & perimenopause. Some balls may be dropped!
This is the first time since I've started these weekly review posts that I've found myself having to really think about what I actually did. I know I was definitely doing stuff – I've not been ill or had extra family commitments tipping the balance of my week away from work like I sometimes do. Yet it all felt quite nebulous looking back over it.
Perhaps this is because the week was quite unstructured – I didn't have any scheduled calls or other commitments at particular times and days in my calendar. My working hours were thus mine to fill however I saw fit. And certainly, because of this I felt quite free to lean into the urge to spend my time mainly on inputs rather than outputs – restocking the larder rather than cooking any big meals, so to speak.
Maybe there was some spring equinox energy working in me too, I don't know. I definitely felt attuned to and conscious of my environment this week – the weather was see-sawing between misty, murky greyness and glorious blue skies and sunshine, like it was literally rocking on a pivot back and forth between the two seasons.
And I found myself really noticing all the new life in the spring flowers and green shoots now starting to spring up all around, especially in our local patches of woodland and downland, which we're so lucky to be able to see every day on our way to and from school and nursery if we choose to walk that way.
And then there was the morning we came home the most urban way instead, through a small housing estate near school to a bus stop to catch the bus back up the hill. While we were waiting, we suddenly heard a full-throated birdcall ringing out insistently from a tree right next to the bus stop – even over the traffic noise we could hear it so clearly.
My 4 year old and I peered up to see if we could see the troubador producing this impressive two-note song – and could just about see a tiny, greenish bird. I felt moved to record it, it just sounded so optimistic and confident. Have a listen for yourself:
Not so confident on the other hand was I in my bird identification skills. A bit of web searching later and I THINK it was a great tit. But if any of you are more expert than me and can confirm this, I'd be very happy to hear from you!
Anyway, for whatever reason, this week I definitely ended up doing a lot of reading, watching & listening. Most of my time was thus devoted to feeding inspiration and creatively planning rather than to concretely achieving anything that could be clearly recognised as 'productive'. But of course those times of learning and 'brewing' new ideas are totally necessary so even though it's a little harder pinning this stuff down, it's definitely getting recorded for posterity all the same. Here we go!
WORK WINS THIS WEEK
1. Substack inspiration & planning
One of my big Substack To Do's is to sign up as a paid subscriber with
over at – just as soon as I've got the available funds to do so. As I mentioned last week I've been struggling with some horrendously late invoice payments – though one of them was FINALLY settled this week, woop woop! - so cash flow is not great right now... but as soon as I can I'm in.In the meantime, I've been working my way through all the podcasts Claire has made – so much inspiration to be had, as well as just general good & authentic vibes. I've made a ton of notes already and am starting to think of more things I'd like to try in this space. So lots of goodness germinating here I think.
2. Short doc watching
I'm constantly clicking on links to cool-sounding short docs I read about in my travels across the internet. Every so often, when the number of open tabs has started to make my browser cry out in pain, I binge watch a bunch of them. And this was one of those weeks. This is always a brilliant way to spend my time even though there's no clear outcome beyond getting my imagination fired up about what's possible in the non-fiction space.
I'm planning to start posting a monthly round up of all my recent viewing (non-fiction & fiction), so watch this space for full details of the films that got my juices going this week, along with plenty more, coming soon.
3. Nuclear reading
Again, with no particular outcome in mind, I've been enjoying taking the time to read more books and papers on the subject of nuclear (civil & military). This was something I did a lot in the early years making my nuclear film, but which fell away once I was into the nitty gritty of editing and releasing it.
This week I've been reading 'Britain and the Bomb: Technology, Culture & the Cold War' by W.J. Nuttall. And some papers about small modular reactors and nuclear utopianism in Japan. I'm enjoying getting back into that open space of possibility again, just reading and letting what thoughts and ideas may come just bubble up.
4. Speculative screening emails
I did also manage to send a bunch more emails to US university contacts that my research suggests could have an interest in screening ‘The Atom: A Love Affair’. And I got a handful of replies requesting a screener link, so am keeping my fingers crossed something may come of at least some of them.
I'm getting near to the end of my list of people and places on the other side of the pond to contact and it will feel so good to know in myself that I've really given the distribution my best shot. So I will plough on even though sending what are basically unsolicited sales pitches often feels a bit icky.
I've heard some people absolutely love selling. Who are these people? What's their secret??
WHAT I'M LOVING ON SUBSTACK THIS WEEK
You know when you see a piece and think – this could have been written just for me! I felt like that about this. The last few years have been filled with so much self-promotion for me and it's not that I hate it exactly – it goes without saying that I want as many people as possible to watch the film I sweated over for years and am so very proud of. It's just that it isn't nearly so much fun as actually making the film was.
Reading this felt like having a very sensible mentor and friend offerering up kind and practical advice over a nice cup of tea – it hit the spot perfectly.
Another piece I think I needed to read. Knowing how much to charge can be such a minefield in so many ways but this really cut through. You should definitely check out
for a different and really refreshing perspective on money if you haven't already.
This was a delicious piece about the struggles of coming up with new ideas for things to write about when you've committed to posting regularly – and pondering using one of the plethora of random World Something or Other Days as a writing prompt. I don't want to spoil it but it's a rabbit hole I'm sure you'll definitely enjoy exploring with
.Of course we're a few days on as I'm writing this so I'm too late to mark National Snowman Burning Day, International Seal Day or (“out, out brief candle”) Talk Like William Shakespeare Day. But may I take the opportunity to wish a very happy National Stephanie Day to all who celebrate it.
Watch my film on Netflix (in Europe) or Vimeo (everywhere else) - or see trailer, reviews & bonus content HERE
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Life stories website – coming soon...
I’m not great at birdsong but that recording does sound like a Great Tit (we did quite a bit of walking and birding in the United Kingdom a few years back). Thanks re the Nuttall book, I read another one of his (it wasn’t great) but this also sounds interesting.
Oh what fun - thank you for recommending my story, Vicki! That was so sweet of you, and I loved the birdsong - so very springlike and hopeful! I'm looking forward to checking out your other recommendations too. Plus - I'm inspired by your idea to document what you've been up to for the week. All the appointments and such remain on my calendar, but I struggle to remember how I spent the rest of my time each week. Even thought I'm not working, I think it might help make the weeks not disappear into each other. Thank you, thank you!