21 Comments

This sounds positive for your whole family and will hopefully mean your son gets appropriate support. Sounds like it's like a whole new academic year for you, too! Good luck with it all, Vicki. x

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Thanks Wendy, it's such a relief that we've finally got to this stage before secondary school starts. It's gonna be a tricky transition I think (going from a school with 2 classes in each year group up to one with 10 or 12 per year) but at least now like you say we should hopefully be able to access the support that will help him.

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Vicki, this so resonated with me! A lot of people don't like labels but for those outside what society sees as "normal" it can really help. It reminds me of how many complain about "the alphabets" (LGBTQIA+) and say, why can't you just call every non-hetero person "gay"? But for someone like me, it was so nice to finally see a word that almost describes who I am, albeit at a very late stage in my life. Until there were words like "pansexual" and "non-binary" I could only describe myself as "queer" which, I guess is ok, but it's so much easier for others to understand who I am when there are better terms. Here's to your brilliant zebra and his awesome mom! (I'm "carlos" here but you may remember me as Carole Hisasue, from San Luis Obispo, California.

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Ah of course I do remember you! The afternoon I spent with you, Jane, Linda & Liz was one of the highlights of that whole US shoot 😊 What a wonderful message to receive - I think you're so right that there's value in finding the right labels not just to help us understand ourselves but as a kind of shorthand to help others understand us better. Obviously this goes hand in hand with education about what the labels really mean - I've definitely found learning more about the nuances of all the different letters in the 'alphabets' (I've never heard it called that before!) so helpful myself to better understand the experience of people around me (lucky as I am to live in a city that generally really supports & lifts up LGBTQIA+ folk). I'm so happy to hear you've found labels that feel like a snug fit for you - even if later in life it must be a huge relief. Thanks so much for the comment and sending all my love across the ocean to California 😍

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I love the normal zebra quotation. It feels so relevant to stuff that has been coming up for me this last couple of weeks and how I still so often view myself as a shit horse! Thank you x

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It's such a great quote isn't it - and I'm so glad it struck a chord for you too. You are definitely NOT a shit horse!!

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Is it ok to say congrats? Well done to all of you for pushing through and advocating for your son, it’s no easy task. I have friends with ND kids & one of my best mates is a SENCO. I love the zebra horse quote, it makes so much sense. I’m sure this will gave a really positive impact on his secondary school experience

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Definitely ok to say congrats. I've never run a marathon (I've never run anywhere frankly, except to school most mornings..!) but getting to this point does give me some inkling perhaps of what an achievement like that must feel like. It's really been a long road to get to this point and now another one begins of course, but it feels nice to mark this milestone for sure.

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Vicki - I loved reading this, especially the zebra, and it moved me to tears.

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I was a little nervous to post it but I'm glad I did 😊 I can't wait to bring T to a screening of The Stimming Pool - maybe the Sun afternoon one at the NFT?

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A major post from you and one I really enjoyed.

1. The autism diagnosis is fascinating. Of my eight grandchildren, the oldest (aged nearly 7), is going through some form of autism assessment, which of course is different to yours, being Australian. He is brilliant and so lovely, and my heart goes out to him every week, but of course I'm not involved, really, in any decision making, all I can do is observe.

2. That 4-week course you've signed up for: I hope you write about it afterward.

3. You mention "creating and reviewing transcripts" via AI. I'm starting to fiddle with AI, like you, and I'm intrigued about the possibility of using AI to process some old interview audios (not of great quality). Have you tried anything like that with AI?

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Thanks Andres! We say to my son - and I genuinely think this is true - that his autism is his superpower. He sees the world with such a brilliant and singular lens in so many different ways. He has struggled a lot but learning more about how his brain works differently is definitely helping. We just ordered up a bunch of books the clinic recommended so looking forward to getting stuck into those. I hope your grandson gets some clarity soon too. Whatever the outcome of the assessment I think even just the process of asking the questions about neurodivergence can be useful (I just wish it hadn't taken SOOOOOOO long - thanks austerity!) I wish all good luck to him and to your family.

The second class of my AI course is this evening. I'm gonna try and zoom in for it live if the kids will let me (It's on US time so right over dinnertime here). This week is looking in more detail at audio tools so I can definitely share more after that. I tried out a company last year called veed.io and got some AI transcripts created on there. They were pretty good but definitely still needed a lot of checking - the British accent clearly foxed it at times! More soon as they say.

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A real WOW of a post, Vicki. I'm so happy that you at long last have the answer - it's such a positive thing.

About labels: mine don't in any way define me, but they have been absolutely fundamental to my understanding of myself, and that's a really big deal.

Hugs!

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It really does feel so positive! The doctor at the clinic asked me in quite a concerned way how I felt after she confirmed the diagnosis - like she was expecting a more negative or equivocal answer. But like you say, it is such a big deal having a label that can explain yourself to yourself. And very happy to hear that's been your experience too 😊

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😘😘😘

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Loved the horse-zebra comment. I sent it, together with the picture, to my daughter-in-law to show to her son, age 14, who was diagnosed borderline autistic three or so years ago. (I would have sent it directly but he doesn't look regularly at his emails and this way he will see it.) He is also super bright. He identifies hugely with the diagnosis, to the point that he gave a 'presentation' to his class at one school (during a year abroad) about autism and what it was like for him – and it went down very well and changed how the kids treated him. He has been discouraged from doing so at his current school (what might be called a 'bog-standard comprehensive'), possibly correctly. The best of luck to your son – and you.

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Ah that's so fantastic to hear about him giving a presentation to his peers, I love that! So far the secondary schools we've visited have all seemed really supportive and positive about their SEN offer and their neurodiverse students (also all comprehensives, but I think we're pretty fortunate in Brighton so I don't *think* any of them I'd call 'bog-standard', though I guess we'll have to wait and see until he's actually at one of them to really know for sure...) My son has definitely found the zebra analogy really affirming.

PS In other news I'm *finally* getting organised to follow up with people about some possible Substack collaborations so I'll be popping an email to your inbox soon about that too.

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I am happy to do something with you. Have you given up on the idea of a documentary around one of my books? I loved the idea but am too long in the tooth to take any idea seriously until I know it really is serious (aside from my momentary excitement at Hollywood calling in this one https://arichardson.substack.com/p/that-little-voice-in-the-middle-of

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On the issue of schools, it's very hard to know anything until you get there. My grandson's school was given a 'good' by Ofsted, but he lives in a very mixed area and no self-respecting middle class parent in the area would choose it, probably because it is well over half non-white/muslim with few middle class kids. My son and wife chose it only because there was no choice due to their having been away (long story). BUT my grandson stays with us every weekend, so I have heard a lot about his school and it sounds pretty damn good to me. Many of the kids are immigrants (Chinese, Mongolian (!), Russian, African etc etc) and they tend to work hard. The teachers sound very committed. Neurodivergent kids tend to get bullied a lot (to the point that my grandson just accepted it like one has to accept rainy days), but it has largely stopped now, partly due to help from the school and partly to the kids becoming more mature. Can't speak for Brighton, but if you want to discuss any of this, you are welcome to contact me at ar@annrichardson.co.uk and we could arrange a phone call.

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Thank you for distilling your very raw and emotional journey with us in suck a beautifully written way.

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Thanks Shawna - a little scary stepping out of my comfort zone but I'm glad I did 😊

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